In the Still of the Night

It has been so cold lately here in NW Arkansas. When I woke up and looked out the window it had snowed even. Cold and rain that’s been the last month.

As I lay in bed I toss and turn, and snuggle under the blankets staying warm. My thoughts keep wandering about all the things I need to do, or maybe more of what I want to do. And sometimes it just doesn’t seem to be enough hours in the day.

This I do know, I am so happy as to how the book “The Month of April” turned out. I re-read it again this morning. I tend to do that. I’ll write something and then I’ll go over it a million times after like a lunatic it seems even to make sure everything is perfect.

Having been published in the past, this time I decided to self-publish. I’m still unsure about this idea. I mean yeah, it’s pretty easy to do. And maybe that is the problem, the simplicity of it. There are sites online offering to help for a nominal fee on marketing, but even so, maybe the price is worth it but almost too good to be true. Especially when there are so many books online and perhaps it’s just me. It could be, I mean I’m a realist, maybe it isn’t good enough, no matter how I feel about my stories.

It’s not enough to make me just want to stop and give up. Writing is what I do. It’s never been about accolades, though I can’t lie and say those other perks wouldn’t be nice. I write because I feel as if I have too. Yet at the same time would love to share them to the world, but if I’m unable to reach people through self-publishing, and self-marketing I may need to start back from scratch and focus my attention on the traditional approach.

This is something I will be contemplating over the next few days. When I self-published my collection of short stories and poems, it was a spur of the moment choice. I made many mistakes in doing so, such as publishing and then promoting and then noticed after publishing there had been formatting errors causing me to rework the book. Then I immediately began “The Month of April” and within less than a month had finished it. This time around I scheduled it to be released in April, thereby giving me time to promote and see if I can gain any traction and if not, I may just pull it and began sending query letters. I may pull both stories and start from scratch.

So that’s what I will be doing this week. I’ll analyze some data and then make a decision. I may even write a script version for “The Month of April” and go at it in two directions, floating the novella and the script to multiple agencies, and then perhaps split Forever Striking a Crucified Pose back into singular stories and approach other markets looking for short stories and poetry.

It’s been on my mind, in the still of the night lying in bed, attempting to stay warm and considering starting from scratch. Besides the stories published in Forever Striking a Crucified Pose had been on my computer for fifteen years. I just felt this sudden urge to self-publish, because I wanted to focus on newer materials. Still, I love those stories. And I would be as the writer, letting myself down, and the work I put into writing them if I just give up on them when the resources are out there, and it’s like I’m not thick skinned and have been given rejection letters in the past, but I’ve been successful in a few also.

I’ll talk about it later with my wife and then I’ll make the decision by the end of the week to move in another direction or hold steady, but as I sit here writing this, I feel it’s more important to perhaps, put the work in, begin drafting query letters and just believe…Besides Self-Publishing will be there if I am unable to make momentum going the traditional route.

Published by Chad Ard

Author, Editor

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