This song has been trapped in my head. It’s a Sinatra song. One I have fallen in love with over the years, and one that reminds me of my wife. When writing the story “The Month of April” the song kept playing in my mind and I would catch myself actually singing out loud as I was writing.
When I’m writing I do see the story visually, and I become so engaged with the characters and it’s quite sad when you come to the end of the story. I love short stories for that reason. In many cases when you come to an end to a short story there isn’t closure or a “The End”. It’s like a snapshot, or people watching or sitting in a cafe and overhearing a conversation. And just because there isn’t a finality, that’s ok too.
I mean how often in our lives does someone come into our lives, I mean even as far back as our first days in school, or even later in life we meet someone, we have a romantic tryst, and it ends and you think this is it for me I’m done, it’s over. Hopefully, though your heart will heal and you can move on.
It happens every day, from relationships ending, to new ones beginning, and children growing up and leaving home, and you find yourself proud and yet saddened at the same time and wonder now what?
Kind of like a song you haven’t heard in years, and then you hear it on the radio and it takes you back to a certain place and time and memories come rushing back to you of where you were, and maybe even how young and carefree and stupid you might have been.
That is one of the things I’ve enjoyed about writing this particular story is that it invokes that type of imagery to me personally. Especially on the level of how well do we really know someone and how well do they get to know us. We do such a great job creating an image of ourselves, don’t we?
Like Bob Dylan. I mean here’s a man who changed everything from his name to his image and over the years began recrafting the image, and he becomes this mysterious legend. His voice is one that for some they find too caustic and are immediately done. But he doesn’t seem to give a shit. He’s still out there to this day performing on his “Never-Ending Tour”.
Maybe that’s the point, is sometimes you have to stop giving a shit. You have to get up the courage and go into Sun Studios and bust the doors wide open if you have too.
One of the main antagonists in the story “The Month of April” is regret. Those moments where we don’t take the chance, or even if we do, fate intervenes and takes it from us bam and it’s over. Problem is sometimes is we don’t see it coming, or we are too ignorant of it, or too caught up giving a shit about things that shouldn’t really concern us and only in looking back to we realize what might have been.
It’s happened to me often, Looking back, and going dammit, but I’m more blessed that I am still here and have matured enough to recognize those things and will hopefully have my eyes open and my blinders off and won’t make those mistakes again.